Curses! A F**ed up Fairy Tale

Title: Curses! A F**ed up Fairy Tale
Author: J.A. Kazimer
Genre: Fantasy,
Source: Library Paperback
Rating: 2 out of 5 paws.


RJ is pulled into a mystery surrounding the death of a princess: Cinderella.  Her sister: Asia asks RJ for his help in finding her killer, and he cannot help but assist her.  But RJ is a villain who has been suspended from his villain duties.  Once RJ begins his search he discovers too many family secrets and mysteries for one villain to solve including a curse placed on each of Cinderella's step-sisters.  This is not your average fairy-tale.

I admit there were times when I struggled to get through this book.  I love fairy tale retellings and I thought this one would be a funny one to read, a villain gone good or sort of good.  interesting right?  Wrong, so very wrong.  I was disappointed in this book and wanted to give up on numerous occasions but stuck with it to the end.


 There were a lot "humorous" things (not laugh out loud humor, more like...oh ha that's cute humor) that ended up getting played out too much and there was too much emphasis on RJ wanting to get Asia into bed.  I get it he's a villain and she's a pure damsel princess who needed help, but it was overdone way too much.  The readers are consistently reminded that Asia is fat, but RJ still finds her beautiful...um really?  It was mentioned that she weight about 150 lbs...if that is fat in this author's mind, many a female readers will be offended, this one included.  And Dru is ugly, we get that, but it is drilled into the reader and the idea that no one could love her based on her looks...is that all that matters?  We are also reminded time and time again about how he is a villain forced to be good...but we never actually see it other than his desire to swear or get Asia into bed.


I expected more of a mystery, but the novel was more about him trying to get to Asia and win her over so he can get her into bed.  Don't get me wrong, sometimes i indulge in the steamy romance, but this wasn't even steamy, it was more stalkerish creepy than sexy.  The author seems to try hard to be witty and raunchy, but falls epically short.  How many times can one reader read the words "villain, fat, and ugly" before it becomes annoying and trite?  Tthere were things included in the story, that didn't fit with the tale or made no sense why they were included such as red riding hood towards the end, it had no baring on the story nor did it supply anything worth while to the plot...but the plot wasn't really there either.


I am glad I borrowed the book rather than buying it.  I wouldn't recommend it.

The Girl In The Tower

Title: The Girl In The Tower
Author: Katherine Arden
Genre: Fantasy, Folklore
Source: Library hardback
Rating: 4 out of 5 paws


The Bear has been defeated, but because of it Vasya has been cast out of her village labeled a witch.  Instead of living life in a convent or allowing herself to be married to some man, Vasya decides to travel the world, see all that she can see.  She disguises herself as a boy and ventures out into the woods atop her grand horse. She encounters some bandits and after a narrow escape she stumbles upon a monastery which happens to be Sasha's monastery.  She earns the admiration of the Grand Prince, but must keep up the pretenses of being a boy.  She begins to notice things in Moscow that don't seem to add up and begins to realize the Grand Prince's kingdom is under threat, a threat that feasts and drinks wine with him.  But is it too late for her to stop things that are already in motion?

The Girl In The Tower is the sequel to The Bear and The Nightengale which may just be one of my favorite fantasy/folklore books so far this year. Just like The Bear and The Nightengale, this book revolves around the Russian folk lore of the frost-demon.  It is filled with elements of folk-lore, religion, politics, culture and fantastical elements. 


Vasya wants nothing more than to be her own person and not be confined to what society says she needs to be and how to act.  While she may feel like she is still wild young girl she once was, she grow immensely in this novel and forms ideal beyond that of simply not wanting to marry or go to a convent.  Readers see her enjoy being an advisor to the Grand Prince and finally being able to stand up for herself and be taken seriously.  Her voice is finally heard even if it is as a boy.  To her, that is a freeing experience.  Her shift into maturity happens so naturally that by the end of the novel you think to yourself, wow she grew tremendously in this novel, and you can't wait to see her in the next one.


Kathrine Arden's writing is beautifully lyrical and poetic.  It was easy to get lost in her world and forget everything in the real world, I almost forgot to go back to work after lunch.  Every character introduced plays an important part, there are no "small roles" in this novel and I love that.  I love that readers can feel connected to every character even Katya in the beginning.  While Vasya isn't out right romantically involved with anyone she feels a love towards Morozko.  I think he can win everyone's heart, he won mine!  I almost want a story focused on him.

Every time you take one path, you must live with the memory of the other: of a life left unchosen. Decide as seems best, one course or the other; each way will have its bitter with its sweet.

This is probably my favorite quote from the book.  It says so much within these two sentences that define the series and life in general.  After reading it I paused and thought about what those words meant for me, for my life and the path I have chosen.  From start to finish you find yourself melting into the words of Katherine Arden.  There is no better way to describe it.


I highly recommend this novel, and will keep my eye out for the third book and feel like I need to buy all versions of this book.  Check it out.

The Children's Home

Title: The Children's Home
Author: Charles Lambert
Genre: Fantasy
Source Hardback
Rating: 1 out of 5 paws


Morgan lives in his estate home with only a care taker.  When children start to mysteriously appear on his doorstep, Morgan begins to wonder not only where they come from, but what purpose do they serve.  Every child that arrives, he takes in and slowly some strange things begin to happen and it seems as though the children randomly disappear and appear in thin air.  These children, the oldest David mainly, have an odd understanding of Morgan's past.  Together with a live in doctor, Dr. Crane.  The children begin to discover oddities within the attic and other rooms of the house.  Dr. Crane and Morgan begin to wonder what is really behind the motives of these children, and what is hidden within this estate.

I found this book on the shelf at my local library and decided to give it a try.  It sound interesting and being compared to Narnia and Golden Compass, I was more than intrigued.  But then I started reading the book and became more and more disappointed.  The more I tried to read it the more disappointed I got as it got harder to understand what exactly was going on in the book.  After finishing it, I still cannot tell you what happened or why something happened.  It was beyond confusing.  I tried to explain this book to my friend and was unable to even give him an idea of what the book was about.


The chapters had subtitles which told you what was going to happen in that chapter.  While I know other novels that have done this and it worked well, it did not work with this novel.  The chapters were rather short so a brief one line summary told you basically everything you needed to know about the chapter.  This also made me want to skip a chapter or two because it didn't seem like it would fit in with what the story was about or that it would add any depth to the story or even answer of the questions I had lingering.  I still have questions lingering.


I kept asking myself "wait, what?"  I was hoping for a dark fairy tale that was a cross between Narnia and Golden Compass as it was marketed on the book jacket but it had elements from neither story, nor would I even consider this a fairy-tale.  I would not recommend this book at all.  It felt like a wasted day.